I don’t think I’m used to three-dimensional people.

Last weekend I was able to spend a few days back in Utah meeting and spending time with real people. And as I’ve mentioned before, a very important part of meeting other North Star men is the opportunity it provides for regular, healthy physical contact. It’s a powerful feeling: holding someone in your arms, being held by them. It’s a highlight of my year, because I don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone outside of that group.

What I just thought of now was that if you don’t, or can’t, reach out and touch someone in real life, how is that any different than seeing them through a computer screen?

I like to think I’m fairly comfortable online. Even back in high school it was easier for me to have important conversations with my friends through our computers than in person. And I’m certainly used to watching people through a screen. YouTube, television, movies, streaming. I see and even interact with two-dimensional people every day.

And when I’m not in front of a screen? Those people who I see in real life, what makes them any different to me? It’s like they’re holograms in a virtual world. Unless I’m touching them, maybe they aren’t actually real…

And I think I’m terrified of real people.

Real people matter. Real people have power. Real people have feelings and memories. Real people have lives of their own, where they interact with two-dimensional people on screens.

I always thought that I understood the difference between my screen and the real world. But I’ve been trapped in a virtual world for years. And the real world is scary, because if I can reach out and touch it, it can touch me back.