On Sunday I attended a joint fireside held by North Star and Blacks in the Scriptures discussing race, sexual orientation, and gender in the Church. The theme was “Of One Heart and One Mind” and it was wonderful.

What stuck with me the most, however, is a phrase one of the speakers emphasized in her talk. (I apologize if I get the sequence of events wrong… I’m horrible with timelines). After gaining an online following and making friends with a group of gay men, she saw several begin to leave the Church. She prayed for guidance on how to help these men and received, several times, the answer “Do you love them? Then walk with them.” She finally realized that this direction meant “walking” with them even as they left. She didn’t leave the Church herself, but she didn’t leave them, either. Whether or not they remained active in the LDS Church, she remained their friend. Her friendship was not conditional upon their religious activity. She just loved them.

My posts on the subject up to this point have tried to be clear, direct, and unemotional. I was trying to avoid hate or polarization. I wouldn’t be surprised if this has led people to think I cared less, or only cared about those that agreed with my religious convictions. I assure you that this is not the case.

Which is why I want to change the conversation. I have said my peace. My views are published and I continue to stand by them. But there’s no need to pound my propaganda into your ears every time I bring up the topic. I’m not trying to discredit or diminish anyone’s feelings or choices. There’s a difference between support and encouragement. I can love someone and support them without agreeing with their views or actions. And that’s what I want.

I want people to learn to love those who are different. I want everyone to feel safe expressing themselves around others. I want hateful and uninformed attacks to cease. I want to emphasize a culture of respect and understanding in the face of opposition and discomfort.

The support I have received from friends and family has been outstanding, but I hope I would have received just as much love and acceptance from them had I chosen different paths. Loving and supporting your family will not affect your temple worthiness. Putting aside fear and discomfort and actively working to understand someone else can only uplift. May we come together and make the world a better and happier place for everyone.